What do you do on the weekends when you are sober?
Isn’t it boring?
It’s relaxing, productive, and fulfilling.
I had no idea how to spend my time when I first quit drinking.
I was antsy, irritated, and annoyed.
Alcohol had removed my ability to find pleasure in anything but alcohol.
For the first time in a long time, this weekend I had few plans and obligations.
I thought this would be a perfect example of what a “normal” weekend looks like.
Saturday I woke up early and had coffee with my husband,
in our quiet living room, while the kids sleep in.
I welcome the spring sun and the bird song, in the morning these days.
I had gotten in a habit of sleeping in during the dark, winter season.
I prefer an earlier rising, so I am happy to wake up early without an alarm, even on a weekend.
It starts my day off right.
I welcome the day, instead of curse the day, because (Hallelujah!) I am not hungover.
We headed out to shop for new patio furniture.
We laughed that we were ready to go, right when the stores opened, like old people.
At first we were not on the same page.
(Love It or List It anyone?)
After walking, talking, and browsing, we came up with a great plan for an improved patio this summer.
A hangover would have turned this into an argument.
When drinking I had to be right all the time.
I demanded everyone see it my way.
Instead of being defensive and shut down when we disagreed, I was able to brainstorm, seek to understand his point of view, and consider alternative options.
We have a plan that doesn’t even feel like a real compromise, because we are both happy with the results.
Our deck is a party zone, by the way.
Our neighborhood hosts Deck Crawls for more than 50 people.
We won’t host a big crowd this year, but we do love inviting our friends over.
We are so excited to smoke dinners to share on our Traeger, sit by the fire under the stars, play cards, and of course, indulge in delicious drinks and the tastes of the summer season.
I removed the desire for alcohol, but I increased my desire for fun times.
I continued my day by shopping alone, for an upcoming trip.
I loved my shopping date with myself.
It was sunny and 50 degrees.
One of the first spring feeling days in Chicagoland.
You know, where the car washes are full, windows are open, and everyone is happy!?
Even running errands feels glorious on days like this!
I bought myself a new wardrobe, for my upcoming vacation, spring decor for my home, and a new plant.
Now that I don’t spend money on alcohol fueled purchases, I spend, guilt free, on fun indulgences.
I treat myself to good things all the time.
I met a girlfriend for lunch.
We went to Portillos, a Chicagoland hot spot.
We enjoyed hot dogs, fries, and big, icy, Diet Cokes.
It was so great to laugh and catch up on our spontaneous lunch date.
While at lunch, I got a call that my 16 year old daughter and her best friend were in a minor car crash.
I left to be with them immediately.
I can’t tell you how grateful I was not that I wasn’t having margaritas on a patio somewhere.
No one was hurt, but everyone was shaken.
The cars were banged up and the cops were involved.
I could be there for the girls as a reliable, calm, safe, and responsible parent.
I didn’t turn a minor accident into a total tragedy by adding alcohol.
Later that day, when everyone had calmed down and processed what happened, I made homemade salsa and guacamole.
I fed it to a group of teenagers hanging in my kitchen, laughing, and listening to music.
When planning our patio redo we realized, there’s only 6 years until both kids will be out of the house.
I want to soak up as much time as I can.
I made Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes for dinner to feed a crowd.
I prepped bruschetta for tomorrow.
After dinner I cleaned up and relaxed on the couch.
I finished some online shopping, and supported my clients through their Saturday night triggers.
I completed day 62/90 of my yoga challenge.
My girls came in my room giggling and we chatted together over late night pillow talk.
I read a book on personal development, before snuggling with my dog, and turning on my sleep meditation for the night.
This beautiful end to my day set myself up to be my best the next day too.
Today is a sunny Sunday!
I woke up super early. I had time to start the day slowly by watching 2 episodes of “Little Fires Everywhere”.
Waking up to watch TV is a total indulgence for me.
I used to do this in hotels during work trips when my day didn’t start until noon.
It feels like the greatest escape to have coffee and a movie, before the day even begins.
I made a big brunch for my family.
I went on a long dog walk with girlfriends.
I’ve got laundry going.
I am supporting my sister in an activity and then taking my youngest to her soccer game.
I’ve got a delicious dinner planned and my husband and I are going to watch the movie, Coming 2 America later this evening.
I am starting to pack for my upcoming vacation with my Mom.
I found pictures and good memories to share with my beloved Aunt, who is terminally ill.
As a drinker I would have wasted my time, money, and self esteem on wine.
I was full of anxiety and what could go wrong at every moment.
I was never free from fear.
I could not find joy in sunny days, walks with my dog, movies with my husband, or fresh salsa served to a group of teenagers surrounding me.
The only thing that gave me relief was wine.
It ruined my whole life in this way, because I could not enjoy myself without it.
I needed it for joy.
I now know, that wasn’t joy.
Joy wasn’t in the bottle.
It cured my alcohol withdrawal and that was the relief.
Now, I get relief from living a life that pampers and soothes me.
I get high on life.
I actually like to do normal people activities like shop for patio furniture and make Swedish Meatballs.
Just being alive brings me joy.
Last night I drank Betera Ginger Orange, Turmeric Tonic in a wine glass.
This morning I had no-mosas with fresh squeezed orange juice and S. Pellegrino.
My drinks are prettier, fancier, and more delicious than boxed wine could ever be.
I am not missing out on a thing.
This was a big fear in early sobriety.
Imagine if your life was beautiful and you were healthy and clear headed enough to appreciate it?
Imagine if you were fully present and alive to notice your life and be in your life.
Alcohol dulled me.
Blackouts and hangovers stole my life and memories from me.
It is not boring.
A simple life of errands and chores and the ebb and flow of a weekend and raising a family is extra special even when mundane.
Here I am, writing this on Sunday morning.
I love to write.
I love Sunday mornings.
I never felt this way while drinking and who wants to hate Sundays?
The Lord’s Day for Heaven’s Sake.
Ditch the drink and see what happens to your precious life.
That terminally ill Aunt?
She is appreciating every extra moment she gets.
I am not taking mine for granted anymore either.
It does not feel boring, it feels so much better this way.
To get started on your beautiful alcohol free life, download my FREE Sober Secrets Guide, sign up for my 6 Week, Self Paced, Online Jumpstart Class, or reach out for a Complimentary Call to get started on my Becoming 12 Week 1x1 Coaching Package.