My friend, Becky died a year ago today from alcohol.
It is so sad and it is not fair.
Becky and I were just casual friends, but we had a lot in common.
We both come from the same small town in Wisconsin.
We were both on the Poms squad in high school.
We married good, steady guys who loved us dearly.
We both gave birth to two daughters, a few years apart.
Being a Mom was the most important role of our lives and meant the world to both of us.
We were as proud as peacock’s of our girls.
We were closest to our own Mom’s, and everyone knew it.
We looked just like our Mom’s, who were our very best friends.
We were both friendly, although I think Becky was way more likable than me.
We both drank wine.
We both drank too much wine.
We stayed in touch casually over the years.
We were big fans of each other from afar, in a mutual admiration club of two.
I really liked Becky, and I think everyone that knew her did.
In just a few short years, Becky’s marriage ended, her mom died, and Becky slipped so far into alcohol that she could not return.
Alcohol took her life 1 year ago today on June 22, 2019.
After many warnings and even medical intervention, Becky’s body shut down.
Becky was so far in, she didn’t know how to get out.
Her body and brain were so addicted to the drug that she couldn’t make healthy decisions.
She was no longer in charge, alcohol was.
Becky was so much more than someone that drank too much, but this one part took her whole life.
Her oldest daughter just graduated high school and she was not there to see it.
This absolutely breaks my heart.
Her death left her loved ones deeply saddened, utterly confused, and frustrated by powerlessness.
Everyone wanted to help her, but alcohol hijacked her brain.
I feel the pain of my own loss of the great person Becky was, and the friendship we had.
My heart goes out to all her loved ones.
I also feel, in my bones, that I was headed in the same direction myself, and that scares the shit out of me.
Yes, I was still in the gray area, high functioning-ish sort of zone when I quit drinking, but it was starting to slip.
My inner circle was starting to see it.
I was starting to scare myself and not really be able to hold it all together, as I had for so long.
Alcohol, for me, was an elevator, as Belle Robertson says, that only goes down.
My descent was picking up speed.
I am currently getting an additional certification as a recovery coach.
The training has a lot to do with addiction, neuroscience and the brain.
I know too much now to ever go back to drinking.
If I was learning this stuff, while I was drinking, it would do nothing to curb my drinking appetite.
Fear of health complications and worst case scenarios would drive me faster and more furious to the bottle.
Smoker’s read the warning labels and keep on smoking, wishing they could quit.
I know this, because I stood in the smoker circle, and the conversation always turned to attempts to quit.
Fear and anxiety is a huge reason, I drank, which ironically caused more fear and anxiety.
Neither the drinking mind nor the anxious mind listen to logic and reason.
The problem with alcohol is that I did hold it for most of my life.
Alcohol does not alway present as an immediate problem.
In our society it is very normalized.
College binge drinking, hangovers, and the omnipresence of alcohol is highly celebrated.
I was a fun party girl with FOMO and that was all normal in high school and college.
I was a wine loving Mom’s club member, who loved my kids and having a good time too.
I was a successful sales woman who could work a room, a rare and valuable skill.
The line between me and Becky is very, very thin.
We have a similar history with our relationship to alcohol.
In just a few short years, I got sober and her life ended.
If you are worried about your drinking, you can quit at any time.
It doesn’t have to get worse.
You have permission to step off the elevator at any time.
I offer a free 20 minute consultation call and tons of free resources on my website