Member-only story
Thankful for my Darkest Days
At 450 days sober, I am still recovering.
I imagine I always will be.
Recovery looks different now than it did in the beginning. The cravings are over. The painful process of rewiring of my brain is complete.
At first it seemed impossible to get through the day without a drink. Now I almost never even think about it.
The challenge of finding new ways to cope will always be a work in progress, but I have come a long way. The drink was my response to every emotion. I have learned to feel my emotions instead of drinking them down. I am not suggesting this is an easy task, its not. I have some time and practice under my belt now, and it definitely gets easier. I know now, that feelings pass. Every feeling I feel is not an urgent call to action. I don’t have to believe every cockeyed thought that crosses my mind.
I am strong enough in my recovery that I have started to challenge myself in other ways. I am eating healthier, training for a ½ marathon, and investing in my own business. My relationships with loved ones have healed.
The issue I am addressing now, is being grateful for my experience and what addiction has taught me. I have been thinking about this for the past few months. I haven’t been able to get to a place of gratitude for my darkest days until now.
