Member-only story
My First Sober Thanksgiving
My first Thanksgiving was really rough.
It was my first big holiday traveling and visiting family.
I had lots of sobriety under my belt. Almost 9 months. Still I felt wobbly, shaky, and fragile.
I drank a lot with my family. I wasn’t sure what to do without it. Everyone in my family drinks, but most did not drink as much as me. Some of my family drank more than usual when I was around, because I could be kind of a drink pusher. Just one more. One more.
This first Thanksgiving I didn’t want anyone to act differently around me. I didn’t want my sobriety to be weird. I wanted to be cool, confident, and simply fly under the radar.
This was an impossible desire. I wasn’t cool or confident. I have big energy and have never been able to fly under the radar.
My family saw my self diagnosed alcohol problem and they were trying to learn more about my newfound sobriety. I didn’t have words for it. Neither did they. They wanted to support me, but they weren’t sure how. I wanted them to read my mind. Duh.
I also wanted to micro manage everyone’s drinking.
When I quit drinking I wanted everyone else to quit drinking too.
There I said what I said.
