Is Drinking Really Giving Yourself A Break?

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

I used to do a lot of drinking when I got home from time away.

I had a sunken feeling of being home. It felt like Sunday Scaries on steroids. I never knew what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to end the “good timing”. I didn’t know how to transition back to real life.

I didn’t really want to be in real life to be honest.

I wanted more social gatherings to keep my drinking looking normal. I wanted excuses to keep drinking alongside other drinkers. I wasn’t happy at these gatherings, but I wasn’t happy without them either.

This Spring Break we were bummed to leave the 80 degree weather and head back towards snow in our Chicago suburb.

I didn’t want to feel resentful about coming back to my real life, because since getting sober over 4 years ago, I have created a real life I loved, or so I thought.

I am sober now. I own my own coaching business. I love my job. Shouldn’t I feel excited about coming back to the life I have created?

I wasn’t dreading coming home, but I was uncomfortable with the feelings of sadness about our vacation ending and returning “back to the grind”.