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How Could I Have An Alcohol Problem? I’m perfect.
From a young age, I had a taste for alcohol. I desired the delightful woozy, boozy release wash over me.
For as long as I can remember, I also had a thirst for perfection.
The more I learn about myself, the more I see how my behaviors came to be.
Like everyone, most of my ways of being were formed in early childhood.
My behaviors perhaps originated to protect me, and stayed long after their job was done.
My enneagram tells me I am a high achiever (3), perfectionist (1), and helper (2).
This makes *perfect* sense to me.
One time I took the test as a 1,2,3 and the next as a 3,2,1.
Regardless, the way I operate is, 1- that everything needs to be perfect 2- I want to help and please others immensely and 3- I have to be the best at everything all the time.
I was the first child of divorce in both my families at a very young age.
Naturally, anyone who loved me, was concerned for me. This kind of childhood trauma can last a lifetime.
I used to think the word “trauma” was a bit dramatic and should be reserved for shock and awe accidents or war type situations. I didn’t want that word associated with me. How tragic…
