Coping with Grief without Alcohol

Something has been brewing inside me and it bubbled over this weekend.

It started with listening to a song really loud in the car by myself. It struck a chord, almost literally.

I felt something in the music and started singing along. My singing took a turn and morphed into screaming which ended up with full on sobbing. Sing/scream/sobbing. Release. I spent the next two hours hiking in the woods talking to the trees, crying at the sky, and trying to make sense of my complex emotions.

I didn’t realize I had been avoiding this meltdown for weeks. I ignored the signals and was now at the boiling over point. Looking back, there were some clues but I didn’t see them at the time. As a sober person, I have worked really hard to “check myself before I wreck myself”, but this one snuck up on me.

In hindsight, I could see that my recent behavior in hustle, avoidance, distraction, and achievement were my own protection from what I was actually feeling. I didn’t know that at the time. All the self awareness, all the self help books, all the podcasts, all the healing, and yet the denial of the inner brew is strong. Such a good plug for coaching support right here. Wink. Schedule Your Complimentary Call

Everyone in the world has a coat of armor they wear to protect themselves from pain. Alcohol just happened to be mine, Now it isn’t. My addictive behaviors can now be spotted in other ways.

Here’s a few top of mind right now.

Workaholism: Building revenue or growing my business. Constantly.

Achievement: The Good Reads Book Challenge, or any fitness quest. To win.

Perfectionism: Shown dare I say perfectly this season with holiday gifting, wrapping, decorating.

Shopping: Looking cute. Having the right make or accessory. This mask is easy to wear. Put a little razzle dazzle on top of insecurity, sadness, or fear and I’m ready for showtime!

If I was paying closer attention the past few weeks, I would have recognized how my friends’ still unannounced cancer diagnosis hit me, but I stuffed it because I had to get on a call.

If I had taken the time, I would have known that my other friend’s significant cancer…

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Heather Lowe Award Winning Sober Coach

FREE SOBER SECRETS GUIDE www.ditchedthedrink.com Certified Recovery and Life Coach, BSW, PHR, Certified Facilitator of Addiction Awareness, SheRecovers Coach